I can’t imagine the hurt and problems associated with having ones parents go through a divorce. My parents are happily married in their 27th year of marriage. The only good thing I can think of having come from my father’s parents divorce is that I was blessed immensely with three amazing sets of grandparents. They have been some of the most loving, kind, generous, genuine people that I have ever met. I honestly think there aren’t many people like them on the face of the planet. That’s how highly I think of them. I can’t imagine my life growing up without them being part of it. They had such a fundamental part of my raising, and building up of my character that every now and then, my parents will catch a little bit of something in my brother, Seth, or myself that reminds them strongly of their parents.
For one, physical features are something that you can’t overlook that easily within families. You can tell easily where Seth and I got our hair color and eye color (Mom’s dad, Big Daddy), or even our pasty white skin tone during the winter (Mom’s mother and Dad’s mother, Nana and Gran). Add to that the weird ability to maintain a nice tan during the summer ( thanks to Dad’s father, Pa Paw). Regardless which genes we got from where, we also have had two outstandingly amazing ‘step-grandparents’, who once again, have been there since our birth and in my mind and heart ARE and forever will be my grandparents. While we may not have received any of their physical traits, we have most definitely inherited the better parts of their warm, unconditional love, patience, and generosity. It’s something that is weighing heavily on me even as I type this, because I know, that no matter what I do, I will never be able to repay the love that they have shown me over my very short time on this earth.
I am typing all of this now, because I, very soon, may be dealing with the loss of another grandparent. In fact, I don’t even want to post this.
EDIT: The fact also that throughout the course of typing, I’ve learned something about myself. I’m adding this after having finished the post. I sincerely hope that whoever reads this, will understand what it is that I mean by the end.
The post however is supposed to be about dealing with loss, in particular the loss of a close family member. Exactly half of my grandparents souls have left this earth to spend eternity with their Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. They were all born again followers of Christ, and I know in my heart where they reside today. This fact is also why I am able to write this. I realize how much pain is associated with death. It’s something that humans cannot overcome. It is the end all of all end all’s and it is chasing us from the very second that we draw our first breathe out of our mothers womb. It scares, and frightens us. Human beings have been able to overcome many different things over the history of the world. Famine, Disease, Migration, War, you name it, there isn’t a step forward in humanities progress that hasn’t claimed the life of one of our own. It’s there. Death.
It’s something that we all must eventually come to terms with. And those who have come to terms with it, if they are believers, seemingly are even at peace. It – I say the word It like giving death a new name, or treating it like Voldemort from Harry Potter will lessen the sting of what we know is it’s reality here on the earth. I can’t say what I think of death entirely. Other than I’m very sure there will come a day, when I embrace a worldly death, in order to gain a much more joyous existence in the presence of the Lord God and his Son. I do fear death, I am after all human. I enjoy my life, though from my words some days you wouldn’t think so (it’s something I am working on as well). I enjoy the people I am around and interact with, though they sometimes irritate the crap out of me. I can’t think of anything in this life that is so bad, that I couldn’t love and appreciate it for the amazing gift that it is from my Creator.
So how does this relate? How doesn’t it? We are commanded by our Lord and Savior to Love.
“If I speak in the tongues of men or angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith as to remove mountains, but I have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and give up my body to be burned, but I have not love, I gain nothing.” – 1Corinthians 13:1-3
and of course in verse 13
“So now, faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.” (v.13)
So how does that not relate? Death will eventually befall all human kind, just as it has for thousands of years. But what of love? The reason we are alive is because we are meant to be loving beings. So yes I miss my loved ones who have passed. I don’t like that my father and his sister had to go through the painful experience of their parents divorce. But I know one thing. My father tells me every single day, once, twice, multiple times that he loves me. I tell him the same thing. He tells his parents he loves them, and they him. I tell my grandparents that I love them every time I see or speak to them. I tell my mother, my brother, my friends, and family every single time I see them at one point or another that I love them. And they know it. Because I know that they love me in return. It’s something that we are commanded by our Lord and Savior to do, not only to our family, but to our neighbors, our co-workers, our teammates, classmates, roommates, adversaries, enemies, bosses, employees, people we just met. It’s not PDA, it’s not kissing, hugging, holding hands, or anything that this world can twist it in to. It’s the way that you see and interact and hold these relationships in your heart on a day to day basis. It’s seeing the people all around you as God sees them, and not only that but treating them as such!!! I’m guilty of not doing this. I have worked as a server, I work in retail now, and there are days when I want nothing to do with anyone who speaks to me. God doesn’t want that though. That person, the one who is irritating me, the person at my workplace whom I would like nothing better to do than to tell off in the worst way possible, and personally escort out the front door myself……………..
That person is my grandfather, that person is my grandmother, that person is my mother, father, brother, sister, cousin, aunt, uncle, friend, or dare I even say spouse. Love. That is why we are hear, that is why it hurts to let go of someone. It’s because God has blessed you enough to allow you a small moment in the entire scope of eternity to spend and invest you time, and emotions with, that you become selfish. If they are a believer in Christ Jesus as their Lord and Savior, they don’t belong to you. They are God’s. They are his child. Just as a parent would not want a stranger taking their own child away, to love for themselves, God is a jealous God, and he knows what our souls thirst for. Our souls thirst to be in communion with him. We are made in his image, and we are part of the body of Christ. So how in this world, can I be jealous of losing a loved one as they return to the Creator to rejoice in his presence? Because I am a sinner. Because I am human, and as such I am a selfish being.
The only way, that I can ever even conceivably deal with losing someone, is to love them. And in truly, unselfishly, loving someone you will only want was is best for them. And that which is best for them…..is nothing that this world can ever hope to provide.
Father, let my heart be after you,